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My Favourite Eyeshadow Palettes. (July 2017)

I am a make up whore. I have so much make up, its actually sickening but I love it. I am truly addicted. If I did an Eyeshadow Palette Collection..we’d be sat here for at least five years so I decided to share the ones I use the most often.

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I reach for my Violet Voss Holy Grail and Modern Renaissance every single day and night without fail. They’re very very loved and I don’t think I’d be capable of doing my make up without them. The colours from both palettes go really nicely with eachother and compliment one another.

For a typical night out,I do a halo eye as I find them quick and easy to do. I like to use my reds,browns and shimmer shades mostly..in fact most of my eyeshadow palettes have them..maybe I need to invest in something a bit different.

 

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I religiously use the shades transition and hashtag for my crease,no matter what kind of look I am aiming for. They are the two shades I use, I find them to be the perfect crease colours and I love the two of them together. All the shadows in this palette are very blend-able and pigmented. I went through an extremely long phase of using nothing put this palette on a day to day basis.

As you can probably tell, I love the shades Toffee,Cool Beans,Glamping and Cranberry Splash..ironically all shimmers which is odd for me as I love matte shadows more than anything. Although the shimmers are highly pigmented on their own,I always take MAC fix + to make them stand out even more.

I reach for Brownie Points and Teddy Bear an awful lot to, just to darken any make up look a little bit. I love using Cranberry Splash and Wine N Dine together as I think they look gorgeoussss together.

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Obviously, I had to include this beauty. Everyone and their aunt owns this palette and with the release of the new Subculture one..I have a lot to say about it.

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Since these photos were taken,I’ve actually hit pan on the shade Primavera..which sucks because its my favourite along with Vermeer.I love them for highlighting and a nice shimmer,they just pop so much..so pretty. I can’t compare the two palettes side by side in terms of fall out or anything but I’ve seen enough reviews. Whilst this palette is pigmented and blends easily,Subculture apparently doesn’t. However, I find the shimmers in my palette crumble,therefore hit pan a lot faster and the fallout is ridiculous.

Obviously,this means when using this palette I do my eyes before my base so its not a big deal to me. I won’t be investing in Subculture tho because even though the colours look pretty, the price tag for something that poop ain’t worth it.

Again with this palette, I tend to reach for the shade Burnt Orange for my crease and sometimes Raw Sienna. Vermeer,Primavera,Buon Fresco,Antique Bronze,Vietnien Red,Red Ochre, Love Letter and Realgar are my absolute favourites. I really love playing with this palette on its own and seeing what I can do with it. So many people own it,so theres 100’s of tutorials online on what to do with it,the looks are endless with these 14 shades..think I’m a bit obsessed. I’m contemplating a second one so I can use Vermeer and the other shades still when they run out.

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Too Faced Sweet Peach was my ride or die for a long time. Whenever I pick it up..I have to sniff it. IT.SMELLS.SO.GOOD. I’ve had it for awhile now and the smell is still there,still strong..I love it. Some people may find it sickly or too strong but I think it adds something more.

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This palette is so stunning and I have no idea why I don’t reach for it more often. Well..I mainly got lazy,stopped doing my make up altogether and have only recently got back into it and am still being lazy by doing the same looks all the time.

I don’t really have a favourite shade in this palette because just looking at it,I am in love with the whole lot of them. Now that its the summer,I’m hoping to reach for this on a more day to day basis when I’m heading on days out to the park,the beach and things like that.  I know I’m going to spend hours upon hours playing with this palette and creating looks,I am beyond excited.

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When I first got this palette for Christmas I wasn’t really big on make up. I don’t use it anymore but thought I’d mention it as its super affordable and brilliant for creating those simple everyday looks. I also think its perfect for if you’re just starting out with make up and want to ease your way in.

This was written way back in July but life got in the way and I lowkey forgot about it-oops. The part where I said I’m hoping to reach for Sweet Peach more now its summer-didn’t happen. Instead I got even lazier with my make up and have worn it maybe twice since July.. but to be fair I haven’t had the time with baby as she’s in a clingy always awake phase-not that I’m complaining! I love spending time with her.

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Fenty Beauty (Primer And Foundation) Review

Hi,I usually don’t do introductions to my blog but I feel like I need to put a lil update here before we jump into it. I ain’t blogged in SO long but I really do want to get back into it. I currently can’t blog about Willow,which is kind of what my entire blog is on..so I’m a little stumped for ideas. I dabble in beauty/make up here and there so I figured  as my passion and love for make up is next level I’d give it a go. I love make up more than I’ve ever loved anyone (except for Willow of course)so it makes sense to me! Tweet me/dm me any ideas/posts you’d like to see make up wise!

Moving on,I know everyone and their Uncle are currently reviewing Rihanna’s make up line but I couldn’t contain my excitement or happiness with this brand. Although I only picked up two products,I feel like the product most people want to know about is the foundation. I was originally going to do a first impressions but I couldn’t put off trying it so I ended up doing it over on snapchat instead.

Honestly,I have no idea where a Harvey Nichols store is near me and frankly,trying to find time to go with Willow is harder than it may seem sooooo I bit the bullet and ordered them online. It didn’t take much persuading to be perfectly honest.I watched Jamie Genevieve’s video on it first and she had me sold,then I watched a few youtubers similar to my skin tone just to get a better idea of what shade to go for and the rest is history.

I spent £56 in total for both products and shipping which I’m not mad about. I justified it as my birthday (now been and gone) was the following day. (I am adult. Woo.)

When it arrived I freaked out at the packaging because its gorgeous..I seem to have a little problem with hoarding packaging but its fine because its cute..right?Right?

Anyhow the actual bottles that the product comes in is weighty and feels expensive. I unintentionally did the “kid test” where Willow ran off with them,banged them on the coffee table and dropped them-no damage whatsoever aha.

I originally swatched them on my hand because I really wanted to do a first impressions but I couldn’t wait to slap it all onto my face and be an airbrushed goddess.

I picked up the primer because in every damn youtube video I watched they applied the primer first and I was paranoid it might make a difference with the foundation..so yeah..but I’m super happy I picked it up. When I applied it on my hand my first impression was that it was super soft..it felt silky? and it smells so so good. I literally sat there sniffing it for ages because I love the smell,not everyone will like it but I do.

Later that night, I put it on my face after I caved and could no longer wait to play with my new babies and I kid you not,it blurred my face. My skin has been absolutely terrible since little dramas in my life and this baby just made it all disappear. It reminded me of the benefit professional in the way it blurred my pores. I feel like you could wear it on its own,if you don’t fancy wearing make up but want a tiny bit of coverage/an “invisibility cloak” on your breakouts/pores to hide some redness etc.

It left my face feeling amazing,I find with most primers my face feels silicone-y or sticky but this just felt soft. I am so bad at describing stuff..why do I even bother? Jeez.

On to the most important thing..the foundation. There are 40 shades raging from really pale,catering for people with albinism and super dark with every shade and undertone in between. I also heard she is releasing 40 more shades in the *near* future! So massive props to Rihanna for this alone.

I am so pale its unreal. I literally look like paper. I went for the shade 110,which I believe is the 3rd lightest shade and when it arrived, I took one look at the shade printed on the packaging and thought it would be too dark..I was broken but oh how wrong I was. For the first time in my life I can say I found a perfect match.

I heard people say the foundation oxidises but for me personally,it made the foundation match even better to my skin-if that makes sense? I’ve never owned a matte foundation before as I have very dry skin and always thought it would cling to my dry patches..I actually feel as though the Pro Filtr foundation was carved and crafted by the gods.

Its supposed to be a bulidable medium to full coverage foundation but unlike most full coverage foundations it doesn’t feel cakey or give me the urge to take it all off. In actual fact,I’d say it just feels like skin. I didn’t need to build it up but decided to just to test it out some more and no matter how much I built it,it didn’t feel heavy. It left my skin looking flawless and airbrushed which is exactly what I want.

For reference I’m NW10 in Mac or at least thats the shade I use as I’ve never been matched to be honest but it works for me!

I only left it on for about two hours before hopping into the shower but I’m honestly in love and looking at everyone elses reviews etc it lasts for a very long time! If you’re contemplating splashing out on Rihanna’s products just do it! You will not regret!

*Photos to come later as I have to upload them off my phone-yay(!) but you can look up swatches etc on google images or watch some reviews on youtube!

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My Music Playlists-Break Up 2017

I am that saddo who has playlists fitting for every possible situation and seeing as I’m going through a break up..I’m going to share some songs off my Break Up Playlist-yay! You will quickly learn there is literally no in-between with my music taste,I love a bit of everything.

Every single one of these songs relates to my situation right now and it hurts so bad but this soon shall pass.

Little Mix-Shoutout Too My Ex.

Dua Lipa-New Rules.

Witt Lowry-Move On.

Demi Lovato-Sorry Not Sorry.

Demi Lovato-In Case.

Olivia O’Brien- hate u love u.

Childish Gambino-  IV.Sweatpants.

Ed Sheeran-Don’t.

Rihanna-Take A Bow.

Jessie James- I Look So Good Without You.

Bruno Mars-It Will Rain.

Olivia O’Brien- RIP. (THIS ONE)

Jojo- Too Little,Too Late.

Cee Lo Green- Fuck You.

Adele-Turning Tables.

Sabrina Carpenter-Why.

Khalid- Coaster. (THIS ONE)

Eminem Ft Rihanna- Love The Way You Lie.

Rihanna-Take A Bow.

Keyshia Cole,Remy Ma,French-You.

Nicki Minaj Ft Skylar Grey-Bed Of Lies.

Ciara Ft Nicki Minaj-I’m Out.

Bea Miller- I Can’t Breathe.

Taylor Swift Ft Kendrick Lamar-Bad Blood.

Jojo Ft Wiz Khalifa- Fuck Apologies.

Banks-Fuck With Myself.

Kodaline-All I Want.

MGK Ft Hailee Steinfeld-At My Best.

Yuna Ft Jhene Aiko-Used To Love You.

Blackbear- do re mi.

Bon Iver- I Can’t Make You Love Me.

Fleurie- Hurts Like Hell.

G-Eazy Ft Dominique Lejeune- Marilyn.

Selena Gomez- The Heart Wants What It Wants.

Tori Kelly- Should’ve Been Us.

Drake-Marvins Room.

Leona Lewis- Better In Time.

Avril Lavigne-Happy Ending.

Cruel Youth- Hatefuck.

 

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BPD&Me-Being Diagnosed

TRIGGER WARNING: Brief mention of self harm/suicide and other symptoms of BPD in depth.

When I was diagnosed,I didn’t actually have the slightest idea of what it was. I’d been told for so long I probably had Bipolar disorder that I’d just gone with that. After I was hospitalised in January,I had a singular follow up appointment at hospital. I attended by myself,this was the first (and last) appointment I went to alone. I waited around for what felt like hours,the woman called me in,sat me down,briefly covered my history and got straight to the point.

“You have Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder?”

What?

“Also known as Borderline Personality Disorder..any questions?”

Yes?Only like a million like firstly what the fuck is that? but instead I politely shook my head and smiled. I wasn’t given a leaflet or any further information. In fact I was discharged from the hospital all together and sent home. I was confused and frankly a little overwhelmed.

I told my sister first,then everyone else and we all did little research on it. I don’t know why its taken me this long to look it up more in depth,I guess I just didn’t want to know with it being personality related.

I feel like everything that makes me who I am,is fake. Its like I don’t know me anymore. I am more than certain part of that is to blame on being in an abusive relationship. I know that I trust too easily and love too hard,finding out these were part of being Borderline broke me a little,I thought the trusting people and loving people were good aspects of myself but it turns out,maybe if I didn’t have this mental health problem..I might not love or trust as easily.

In a way,it feels like I’ve had some sort of midlife crisis at 19 and I’m trying to figure out who I am and where I fit in,especially since my break up as thats all I’ve known for over two years.

My ex made me more alarmed about it as he hurled a lot of abuse at me, saying I was a shit person and a bad person and this,that and the other. It made me question myself even more. He lectured me about neglecting him because I’d be distant and cold with him..unfortunately a factor of BPD,no matter how many times I tried to explain this to him he was just adamant that I am very fucking shit person.

Luckily,I now understand that my BPD is very unpredictable,extremely up and down. One minute I can be the happiest girl on the planet and in a split second be really irritable and moody. Everyones experience with BPD differs,although there are similarities there is a wide spectrum of people with different symptoms of it.

For me personally, my anxiety and fears are sky high. I fear people abandoning me and leaving me massively to the point that I bite my nails and feel physically sick with worry. When my ex originally left,I was so desperate to stop him from leaving that I did anything he wanted and asked of me even if I wasn’t 100% comfortable. He knew that he could use me and take advantage of me by using this fear of mine against me,which in my opinion makes him the very fucking shit person.

Another sign of BPD,is not having a strong sense of who you are. This one speaks volumes to me because frankly I have no fucking clue what my likes and dislikes are,its sort of like I am a lot of different people but I like to look at it as I’ve got a lot of different likes..rather than changing who I am depending on who I am surrounded by but at this point,I have no idea.

Acting impulsively and doing things that may cause yourself harm is an extremely common role and symptom. This is another thing I do a lot. It can be something such as betting or gambling money,which I thought I did as a hobby or for fun but it turns out a lot of people with BPD get addicted to it..so thats fun,another thing to cross out as who I am. But there’s been points where my emotions are that intense that I’m on the floor sobbing uncontrollably,unable to breathe and then I’ll storm out of the house in pjs and no shoes. Its terrifying as its one of the most unpredictable things about this disorder.

Its also terrifying because I’ll be “checked out” and not recall/remember things as they happened. The most intense experience of this was in January,where I somehow got on a train and ended up over 30miles away from home..confused as fuck. I heard voices an alarming amount that day which is another shitty thing about it. I have two blogposts all about my experience on a MH unit that talks about that a lot more in depth.

In my experience,I keep everything bottled up because people just tell me I am exaggerating or overreacting. Then it’ll get to much and everything pours out of me like an explosion and mind goes faster than I can speak and literally everything comes out at once.

Sadly, self harm and suicide is a massive aspect of it to the point that suicidal thoughts are a daily occurrence. I have gotten control over my self harming now, I have thoughts about doing it but its about whether or not I crack and cave in. Luckily,Willow is a massive motivational factor in not doing anything stupid because I know I’d lose her. This being said,addiction is another horrible addition to the list of shit that is BPD.

I’ve heard different things about addiction but I think it depends on the symptoms of the person. For me personally, I know that if I were to act impulsively and do drugs,I’d become addicted. Therefore,I don’t go near them, I haven’t touched a single drug in my life,that hasn’t been prescribed. However,when I was younger and housebound I used to wake up and overdose on my sleeping medication so I would sleep for longer and that is how I got through 4 years of not leaving my house. Any medication I now have is handled and hid by Mum as a safety precaution. Other people though,can literally just switch there addiction off (apparently idk the facts,I’m still learning).

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The website mind.org.uk (screenshot above) have helped me massively in understanding my diagnosis. This above is just a few things I relate to and it makes me feel not so alone in the process. I recently spent a lot of money I don’t have after breaking up with my ex to make myself feel better. My ex often called me a child,infact our last phonecall ever,he turned around to me and said “You’re behaving like a child so I’m going to fucking punish you like a a child.” he also made me feel horrible throughout our relationship for being ‘immature’ saying he wanted to ‘grow up’ and I was a ‘child holding him back’. I think if he wanted to grow up so badly he wouldn’t be so quick to disregard others emotions and mental  health but thats just me.

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For as long as I can remember I’ve broken things off with partners out of fear of them leaving..it always end up me being the most upset though-oops. I avoid people,trusting and paranoia in relationships are just ugh. I have the black or white thinking-another thing my ex would practically bully me for. I am certain that the world is a scary dangerous place and I want to hide in my house from everyone and everything with Willow so nothing can harm us.

Mind also mention some of the positives,which for me have been very difficult to find but now I know my love is stronger for people because of BPD so Willow is basically the most loved baby ever. I am extremely empathetic/caring for people and will always try to help them and be genuine and sincere about it.

Part of me is sad that it took me this long into researching my illness because maybe just maybe,things would’ve worked out differently with babies Dad but then I remember the abusive side of it all. The fact he would purposefully put paranoia and anxiety into my head etc and I realise theres no chance of a recovery with people like him around.

This means I have to be extra strong and ignore him at all costs. I have to get better for myself and my gorgeous lil angel baby. If you read my thread on twitter (since been deleted) you’ll know a bit more about the ins and outs of it all, I think this break is beneficial for all three of us. He can work on himself and hopefully become a nicer better kinder person that I feel my daughter will be safe with and understand take time to whats important in life (hint:its not drugs or girls).

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An Open Letter To Willows Father

In the off chance,you still stalk me and sees this or someone you know sent this to you..

Hi,I hope you are well.

I won’t hold grudges towards you and the things you’ve done. This is your chance to put down your weapons and do right by Willow.

Firstly,let me make you aware of some of the incredible milestones and memories you have missed out on. Not be bitter or rub it in your face but so you know what your little angel has been doing. (Of course you can always skip this bit if its too much for you right now.)

  • She had her first kiss-yep. Shocking I know,not impressed either.
  • She had her first birthday. It breaks my heart knowing you wasn’t around for her that day.
  • She had her first birthday cake,she loved the candle a bit too much.
  • She learnt how to say “Birthday”.
  • She now occasionally brings a clean nappy to us when she needs her bum changed.
  • She’s always blowing kisses.
  • She went to a fair and went on some rides. She had the best day ever.
  • She likes to strip naked and run around. She takes all her clothes off and nappy herself and streaks around the livingroom,laughing her head off.
  • Peppa Pig is the only love of her life. She only has room in her heart to love Peppa. Its her obsession.
  • She walks everywhere,no such thing and crawling for this babe no more.
  • She sings along to certain nursery rhymes..well tries but its the thought that counts.
  • She holds hands with whoever,when we’re walking in the park.
  • She’s in big girl nappies/pull ups.
  • She is in her big girl carseat now too.

She is such a happy,confident,chatty and well behaved child. She truly is a little angel. She is so caring and gentle with others,loves animals. She does me proud every single day.

This is an invitation to leave the past in the past,to erase any bad blood between us,to stop scoring points and twisting things.. so you don’t have to miss out on anything more. You still have a chance to step up and be the Dad that our girl deserves. She is the innocent in all of this and she deserves all the best love,support,care,nurturing etc of both parents.

I believe strongly this was dealt with in the worst possible way.

I do have rules,strict rules and guidelines to ensure my babygirl doesn’t get let down or hurt again. To ensure she isn’t waiting for her Daddy to show up on another birthday,just for him to not bother and for him to spend her birthday money on some skank.

If you have grown as a person. If you have matured and changed your ways. If you no longer have an issue with lying. If you can be honest,trustworthy and kind.If you’re willing to see my girl consistently,but supervised by me, until she is used to you again. Until you can be trusted. If you’re willing to consistently pay a set amount of maintenance and put your child’s needs above your own selfish wants. If you can be a father to her,set an example,encourage her,love her,help her etc for the rest of her life..

You know how to contact me. For the last few weeks,you have known you could’ve just hit that unblock button,sent an apology and arranged something. I figured if you truly cared then you would’ve done it by now. Another part of me,really hopes you might just be scared or nervous,which is why I’m attempting to reach out to you this way.

If you’re satisfied and happy with your life the way it currently is and you don’t miss Willow or you ain’t willing to negotiate and stick to a routine with her..then there is no reason to reach out, I just need you to sign your signature to allow me to change her last name and parental figure to just me. I really hope for her sake that this isn’t the case as she deserves both parents.

I still want our baby to have those “family memories” of trips to the zoo, beach or trips out to the park or shopping days. Surely,at this point,having taken ourselves away from the situation,we are mature and responsible enough to do so? I don’t know about you but I’ve done a hell of a lot of growing up the last few weeks,I’ve changed into a person I’m proud of. Someone Willow can look up to and be proud of. I’ve got a long way to go mind but for the first time in two years I am content with who I am and where I’m at.

I always thought we would get along better as friends or acquaintances as there is too much history and hurt with us as a couple. Maybe now is the perfect time to have that friendship back whilst Willow is still young.

There is absolutely no hatred,bitterness or anger towards you anymore and the stuff you did to not only me,but Willow and other girls too. I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me too for the things I’ve said and done during the heartbreak and anger of it all.

Our families clearly loathe eachother,my Mum won’t be the runaround or point of contact anymore so we have to grow up and handle this ourselves. I just want to clear the air and do right by our daughter.

Love Always, Leah x

 

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Expectations VS Reality Of Motherhood

This post is inspired by my lovely friend Becca over at myselfandjake.wordpress.com! You can read her version of this post here.

My expectations vs reality are the same as Rebecca’s to be honest so here goes:

When I was pregnant,I vowed to be in the gym and have my pre baby body back by the time my baby was six months old. My baby has just turned one, I ain’t even seen the inside of a gym and I am double my original dress size so thats always fun. To be fair though,I’m not that bothered because my butt is bigger and thats always a good thing. Also my body carried my best friend for 9 months,my stretch marks,mum tum etc are just constant reminders of how awesome my body is.

I promised I wouldn’t post a million photos of my baby on social media. I remember always being so irritated by other peoples daily baby posts but now I’m always hearting everyones shit to do with their kiddies because being a Mummy is the best,most rewarding thing ever and their pride and joys deserve recognition and all the love in the world. I currently don’t post photos of Willow due to privacy reasons but on my private Facebook I post photos all the time still because I just want to share her cuteness with everyone.

Another thing Becca mentioned in her post was having her Jake in a routine. I was the same with Willow . I was all “when shes here,we will be in bed by 8pm and wake at 8am.We will do bath,book and bed every single night. Until recently her routine was honestly shite. She has always had the most perfect routine at ours but then she would go to her Dads and it would go to shit. We’d spend the week getting her routine back and by the time we did,she was back at her fathers. Since he left us both,her routine is top notch and better than ever. I couldn’t be prouder of her or myself for sticking to it.

I wanted to be one of those instagram Mum’s like Amber Fillerup or Acacia Brinley. How they manage to look like solid 10s daily with children is beyond me. I forget to brush my hair because I am so preoccupied with getting Willow ready. I never have enough time to do my make up because for me,its all or nothing so I constantly look like a mombie. I can never find clothes that match because Willow needs my constant attention but as long as shes clean,looking cute whats it matter? Selfies are a thing of the past now anyways and my camera roll is just Willow,Willow,Willow and a few of my cat.

This was just a quick fun blogpost for today as I start getting back into the swing of blogging! Hopefully my next ones will be better.

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Willow’s First Birthday

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and in the blink of an eye,she is now one years old.

I don’t know how this post is going to go. I feel so emotional that my once tiny 6lbs 4oz baby has now been here for one whole year. To think she went from being this mini human that did nothing but sleep and eat,that I was too afraid to carry up and downstairs and bathe incase I dropped her into this fully fledge super hyperactive troublemaker,who never rests and still always eats.

Our journey together has been one hell of a roller coaster and I’d have it no other way. From seeing those two lines on the test,to seeing a little bean on a screen and holding her for the first time.

I wish that moment lasted a little longer as she was placed in my arms for the first time. I couldn’t believe she was here. I cannot believe its been an entire year since we first met each other. A whole 365 days with my best friend. She is my everything. She’s my strength when I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. She’s my little light in my dark times. It doesn’t matter how low I am,she always manages to make me smile and laugh.Its true what they say about a mothers love being the strongest form of love. Since having Willow, I have so much more appreciation for my own Mum and Willow adores her super Grandma. I don’t think I would’ve managed this year without my Mums constant unconditional support and help.

For her first birthday,we ended up doing a three day celebration. We started on Friday 11th (the day she was born). I spent the night before putting up decorations and laying all her presents on the table so it would be the first thing she saw. I honestly couldn’t wait to see her little face. At Christmas she was too young to acknowledge and appreciate it but now she was big enough to rip open the gifts herself.

I asked my Mum to bring her downstairs in the morning, so I could video her coming through the door and I am so glad I did. Her little face when she saw everything is another one of those moments I won’t ever forget and wish I could pause. She obviously didn’t completely understand but she was still excited either way. She kept clapping her hands and smiling with her two bottom teeth.

We spent the day playing with her new toys,she was so so spoilt. She got some pretty awesome toys to be honest including a drum,which is everything we didn’t know we needed for her. She absolutely adores it. We were going to go out for the day but Willow wasn’t very well that morning,she was being sick and not eating-which for her is very strange!

Late in the afternoon,family came to visit with their gifts and its safe to say my Grandparents went a bit nuts and brought the biggest things they could find. They also got her a specific toy that she fell in love with at Sainsbury’s,she goes there every week with my Grandparents  as they like to go to the cafe and Willow plays with this one toy in the kids section. Its a cookie jar with shapes that plays music,my lil smarty pants knows which shapes go where and she will sit there for ages just putting the shapes in and taking them out again.Doing it over and over again,she also hates other people touching it and will smack your hand away if you dare go near it.

We had a little cake after her dinner and it was the cutest thing ever. Another moment I just want to relive over and over with her. She looked terrified of the candle then out of nowhere went to grab it and got the giggles. I happened to capture her face when she saw the candle and its so funny.

The Saturday was her princess party,we spent all morning decorating the house and preparing the food. I only know one person IRL who has children so they came and then six other people as well. Our house is only tiny so it was very cramped and crowded . This is also the day Peppa Pig over took my entire life. I didn’t realise how much Peppa Pig stuff there actually is in the world but take one peek into my livingroom window and you’ll get a brief idea. So many Peppa Pig cards,books,stuffed toys,clothes and even a Peppa Pig backpack..we have one very happy one year old and thats all that matters. (As I’m writing this she is watching Peppa Pig of course)

She was very unsure/shy and whenever she got used to the people around,more would arrive and she would be back into shy mode. Do not be fooled tho,she is very far from shy! She managed to fight nap time for quite a while before finally falling asleep before the rest of our guest arrived.

After her nap,she opened more gifts from people that had arrived during her nap. Then..my friends little boy kept taking her dummy out of her mouth. She would cry,he would panic and shove it back in. At one point,he thought her dummy was her baby brothers and then he took her dummy again,and gave her a KISS. One going on sixteen over here. I am still in  shock. Nah but in all honesty it was absolutely adorable,Willow wasn’t impressed.

My friends seven week old baby also came and I have never changed my mind so fast. Since having Willow, I’ve said I won’t have more as I had such a bad pregnancy and labour but holding a lil baba again and seeing how gentle Willow was with him made me burst and now I need all the babies. I’m gonna have fifty.

We totally forgot to do the cake when the guest were here so we ended up doing it later on and it was a Peppa Pig cake. Willow loved it more than anything.

Sunday, we went to my Dads side of the family. Once again,she was spoilt rotten. She got a pink princess play tent which I think is extremely appropriate and more Peppa pig stuff. She also got her first baby doll which she loves cuddling and then throwing on the floor to laugh at.

My Dad,his girlfriend,her granddaughter,my sister,Willow and I went to the park. We took my Aunties dog and spent some time on the swings,slides etc. All I learnt from this experience is I’m not as small as I thought I was and going on a slide with a baby on your knee is so much hassle,she had a blast tho and her lil face was so worth it.

Those few days making unforgettable,irreplaceable memories were so damn perfect. She was none stop smiling because she just knew those days were all about her and she knows she is a perfect lil princess.

I wish I could spam all the photos from her birthday because she looks absolutely adorable in every single photo but certain individuals don’t deserve to see what she got up to.

Next week,we’re heading on our first holiday together and I am so excited for so many more firsts. She’s going to be swimming for the first time,going to the beach etc then we’re going to the zoo when we come back, I can’t wait! Making memories with my girl makes me the happiest person on the damn planet. Just seeing her excitement and curiosity is just everything. Its time to see what the next year brings for my little angel and I,loads more adventures I’m sure.