What Willow Got For Christmas 2017

Okay so,

its safe to say my baby girl was spoiled rotten this year,in my mind- I justify it with the fact she didn’t get much for her first birthday off me or her “father”. Being the stupidly unprepared blogger I am,I have no photos of any of her presents before they were opened and thrown around the room. Already pieces have gone AWOL,joys of having a little toddler,taking photos seems a little pointless to be honest.

Lets start with the elephant in the room..well bear. The incredibly big bear was gifted to Willow along with Peppa Pig and George Pig teddies from my lovely twins Han and Soph! The bear is Willows most favourite gift without a doubt,she likes to throw it on the floor and dive on it,snuggle it and lie on it to pretend to go to sleep. Its her new best friend in other words.

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The pink rocking unicorn you can see in the back, is Willows main gift from her Grandma(My Mum),she also went a little crazy with new clothes for our sweet angel but we will skip past all the clothing items as I can not remember who got her which pieces to be honest.

I got Willow the majority of presents you can make out in the photo. I went crazy with books as Willow loves to sit own and look at all the photos or snuggle up in bed and have me read them. I got her some Peppa Pig books and loads of random books from thebookdepository.com including her First Bible..which she threw on the floor. I also got her a “My First Little Shop” which comes with a cash register,a shopping basket,food items and a credit card,not going to lie but I think I love playing with it more than she does. It is supposed to teach her colours,numbers etc but me and my brothers will sit playing Supermarkets like we’re five years old again. (Difference is..they’re 10 and 11..I am 20.)

I obviously had to go a little overboard with the Peppa Pig goodies. I went all out,I got her two customised Peppa Pig Christmas Cards and I did actually order customised Peppa Pig wrapping paper but it got cancelled!! I got her a customised Peppa Pig Ornament too for the tree. If you don’t know already,each year I intend to get a Christmas bauble for Willow with a little story behind it and this years story is that she is addicted to Peppa Pig and does pig noises 24/7. Last year was obviously her first Christmas so thats that story (if you were wondering).

I did go slightly overboard with the customised things too. I think customised gifts are so lovely and make everything that little bit more special. I grabbed Willow a gorgeous pink dressing gown with her name on it from my1styears,it has little ears and makes her look like a little pink bear! One tiny slight issue..whenever we put it on her she thinks she is going outside as if its a coat! She looks adorable though.

I also went overboard with clothes and although I remember which bits I got her,I ain’t got any photos of her in them yet but look out for them on my insta @xleahprescottx in the new year because they’re gorgeous!

Going back to Peppa Pig,my girl loves to draw but always eats the crayons! SO I saw a Peppa Pig Aquadoodle and knew it was perfect! She loves it but gets mad when the water runs out. She also loves making noise and playing with instruments so I got her a Peppa Pig music set,however,the recommended age is 3+ *face palm*. After going through it and confiscating anything too small or harmful,she has a few bits left to play with including the maracas which she uses the way you’re meant to or uses them to hit walls,hit other people etc.

My Dad got Willow another rocking horse like my Mum did but his is electronic and has loads of buttons and songs etc which she adores. Willow sits them both next to eachother and switches between them both,taking a turn on each one!

The lovely Jess sent us some money, so I could get Willow some bits off her and Emma!I cried a lot.  I chose to get a Christmas ornament from Etsy in memory of Emma,so we can hang it on Willows tree every single year and she can remember Auntie Emma. I also grab even more books for her,which Willow is very happy with!

I can’t remember what everyone else got her so I am truly sorry to all my other family and friends 🙂 I’m just useless with memory!

We did head over to my Grandparents for Christmas Dinner,which you can read about here and Willow had more gifts to open there. She got a “nanight” pillow,which was handmade by my Grandma’s 86 year old friend! Its so cute,its got her name on it and a little pocket for her Bedtime story of choice. She also got another book filled with all the different classic bedtime stories.

My Grandparents got the memo and also went overboard with all the Peppa Pig stuff. I think it was her second gift,she received a Peppa Pig flip phone and she was uninterested in everything else and its one of the only things she plays with. It rings when its closed and when she opens it Peppa or one of the other characters says ‘Hi’ and Willow loses her shit. She probably thinks its real poor thing! She can also “call” different characters depending on the number she presses,she spends hours talking to the Peppa Pig cast on her phone ahahaaha.

Again,I can’t remember what else my Grandparents got her because I am bloody useless. I am still waiting on Christmas part 2 at my Grandma Sylvia’s too,which we usually do boxing day but we have no way of getting to hers right now. Its been so long since we last saw her 😦

I was going to do a What I Got For Christmas too but I thought I’d just include it at the end of this. I got a few new pieces of clothes,some make up products from technic (which I ain’t tried out yet),bath stuff, chocolates, a gorgeous new bag and some money to go towards my lip filler-which I’m getting done in the New Year! Although I love what I got and I am super grateful,I think as you get older it becomes a lot more to do with the people and your loved ones than what items you get. This is the first Christmas I’ve genuinely loved in so long,I had such an amazing day surrounded by my family and good food!! Willow has made me love Christmas again because as she gets older and understands Santa,the excitement she gets Christmas night etc I just can’t wait to see her believing in all the magic.

Basically- I’m like scrooge,I’ve been a miserable turd and now I love Christmas.

This year she was more interested in the wrapping paper,throwing it around and ripping it up than she was about her gifts and she got overly excited about the box her dressing gown came in because she could put the wrapping paper inside of it but she was still super happy,excited-and well,confused.

I hope you all had such an amazing Christmas and have the most amazing year. I believe in you all and you can all do anything and everything you put your mind to!

What We Did For Christmas 2017

I’m just going to say it now,I have very few photos from the day as I was busy living in the moment and enjoying creating memories with my princess.  I’m once again writing this from memory so I have some form of documentation for Willow and I to look back on when she is older.

 

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Christmas Eve:

I left my shopping very last minute,I managed to grab some bits when out with my girls and Willow on Friday but the majority of things I ordered Willow off the internet ended up being cancelled. I was so upset, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise because she was so spoilt and there would’ve been no space for anything more. Christmas Eve Willow wasn’t feeling 100% and asked to go to bed earlier than usual,which meant we didn’t have chance to read her Christmas Eve story I got her (Peppa Pig loves Christmas Pudding) or leave out the things for Santa and his reindeer,which is completely fine because she is still a bit too young to understand the concept.

I started my wrapping Friday and finished the very last item on Christmas Eve. Placed all the gifts from myself in two customised Santa Sacks from thecuddlecompany. Then because I wanted the photos..I played Santa,ate the cookies,drank hot chocolate etc so I could snap some photos..literally no other reason.

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I decided that each year,I’ll get Willow a special bauble for on the tree so when she is older and leaves home I can put them all on my tree or she can have them all on a tree in her room or something. I don’t really know. However,the idea is that each bauble has some sort of special meaning or story behind it. Last year as it was her first Christmas,she got a lot of ‘babies first Christmas’ baubles and this year,I got her a Peppa Pig bauble for obvious reasons. I also found a gorgeous bauble from Etsy,which we can hang up every year in memory of Emma.

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On Christmas Eve,we always eat a load of food and watch a movie together as a family. Of course we watched ‘Love Actually’ ,which is my joint favourite film along with Mean Girls. My Mum had never seen it before?? I was disgusted. She love it though so all is forgiven.

Christmas Day: 

Willow had a lie in. I was tweeting about how excited I was for 5am-6am for Willow to wake up but she didn’t. I appreciate the lie in massively to be honest,its extremely rare. When she did wake up,we woke everyone else up and went downstairs. I placed her right in front of her presents and said “Wow Willow look!!” and basically made a huge deal out of it, just for her to walk off in the opposite direction. She couldn’t have cared less.

I started ripping the paper and telling her to come look,which she did and she ripped it a little…pulled out the clothes and put them on the floor. I then had to keep encouraging her to rip the paper and after three presents, she just wasn’t interested at all. She sat on the floor kicking and throwing the wrapping paper instead.

However, when I unwrapped a tiffany blue box,she came rushing over. She was so excited. She took out the customised pink dressing gown from my1styears and threw it on the floor. It was the box. She just wanted the box. She opened and closed it,put wrapping paper in it etc…basically all I needed for her this year was a box.

Whilst unwrapping our gifts,Mum gave us all pigs in blankets and afterwards was time for a mad rush. We usually have Christmas dinner at ours but this year we went to my Grandparents! Of course,I used new make up for my “festive” make up look and honestly,it turned out so good.

Willow and I had matching Christmas t-shirts,which we took photos in. Technically, Willows was a bodysuit though so she wore hers under her Santa dress. Last year,I took photos of her on the sofa in her Santa dress and thought it would be cute to recreate them this year…yeah..didn’t go to plan at all.

When my Grandad arrived to pick us up,Willow was mid tantrum but she adores my Grandad that much that she instantly when running to him, yelling “Grandad” and smiling. Tantrum over. Grandad saved the day.

When we arrived at my Grandparents house,Willow completely blanked my Grandma and ran straight to Herman the Tortoise. She kept saying “Herman” and waving at him through the glass. She then greeted my Grandma but only so she could drag her to get Herman out. She loves that tortoise more than anybody else. He chases her around the house,trying to get her toes and Willow just laughs her head off. Whenever he goes near her toys;she moves them,points at him angrily and very sternly tells him off.

I told them not to bring all of Willows presents to ours so they could open some with her and I am so glad we did that. Just watching them sat with her as they opened her gifts with her made my heart so full. My family is literally everything to me. I am so family orientated, nothing beats spending time with them. Willow lost interest in all other gifts after the second one.. because it was a Peppa Pig phone and anyone who tried to touch  it got screamed at. Unfortunately,Willow put it in a safe place and we can’t find it now.

 

My Grandparents went all out with table decorations and for Willows highchair they put red tinsel around it. SO CUTE. We started with the tradition of Christmas crackers,paper crowns and bad jokes. Then obviously the best part-we ate..a lot. We had the most amazing chocolate cake for dessert. I don’t usually like cake but this one was so light and fluffy-I had two slices of it and I will be tracking it down in store. It was just that good.

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I then had a nap because ya girl was exhausted and very full. When I woke up,we watched Oliver and later on,had Chinese food as a “snack”. I hate myself for eating so much but I don’t regret it at all.

We went home at about 8pm and my baby fell asleep in the taxi,so both me and her headed to bed for the night. I usually don’t sleep til 1am but I needed that sleep.

Boxing Day:

Every year on Boxing Day we have Christmas part two at my Grandma Sylvia’s (Dads side of the family) but this year we had no car and no way of getting there. I also believe my Uncle with all the Huskies (from my viral tweet) was there with the doggies and it would’ve been dangerous for Willow (all the dog hair) so we lazied around at home instead. Ate leftover Christmas dinner ,watched movies,played games etc.

Willow and I woke up before everyone else that morning,sat downstairs and watched Arthur Christmas,which has become our little tradition.

We honestly had such an amazing Christmas,it was my best one so far. I feel so lucky to have such a beautiful baby girl to spend Christmas with. I have the most incredible friends and family,who are all so loving,supportive and kind,I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you so much to everyone who made this year so special. Onwards and upwards in 2018,no more toxic two faced b*llshitters. AMEN.

Thank you so much for reading,I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and have the best adventures in the New Year! 

Read what Willow got for Christmas here. (Will be published soon)

Read my 2018 Resolutions here. (Will be published soon)

The Sunshine Blogger Award

 

 

I recently got tagged to do The Sunshine Blogger Award by the lovely Chlo over at tintsofautumn,you can read her post here. Thank you so much for nominating me!

The rules are that you recognise the blogger(s) that nominate you,answer the questions left for you in their blogpost and then nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 questions.

Now on to answering the questions from Chlo!

1.What is your favourite season and why?

I love all of them for different reasons especially now I’ve got Willow. I love Autumn because Halloween, fireworks,roasting marshmellows, the fashion etc. I love Winter because Christmas,Santa and snow!! I feel like when she is bigger this will easily be  my favourite season because of her excitement and belief in Santa. Summer and Spring because of all the flowers,baby animals being born,easter,hot weather,the six week holiday-where me and Willow can get up to adventures etc. There are different memories and things to do with her so I can’t pick?? 

I made that question so much harder for myself that it had to be *sigh*.

2.Who’s voice could you not live without?

Okay so this one is quite difficult but the first person who came to mind was my ex. His voice used to calm me when I was struggling or panicking and hearing him come into my house or that first ‘Hi’ when he picked up the phone used to make my heart do somersaults but now it just terrifies me. However, I aint seen him in like 3 months so I seem to be living without him pretty well aha.

3.What do you love most about the blogging community?

The people. Everyone I’ve personally come across is so lovely and so supportive of eachother and everyone,its amazing. I’ve never been the kinda girl to have a lot of friends but through blogging I’ve met loads of lifelong lil buds who I adore.

4.What is your favourite blog post you’ve ever written and why?(link it!)

I’ll say my first ever post. I don’t read it anymore because it takes me back and makes me feel a bit sick at how drastic and fast things change but its nearly a year since I wrote it. Its the first post I ever made public,the first one that gave me balls and gave me the push to start blogging so it will always have a special place in my heart.

Read it here: About My Family.

5.What is the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

I swear none of my dreams are normal. Some nights I’m a warrior princess fighting fire breathing gree trolls;other nights I’m literally in my room then fall through my bed Alice in Wonderland style land on some stairs in a strange mansion surrounded by Annabelle dolls red balloons and other shit I don’t wanna talk about. To be fair some nights I have pretty normal dreams where I’m a normal school girl and my Grandma comes and tells me I’m the Princess of Genovia and I get a sick walk in wardrobe.

One dream that really stands out for me though is a reoccurring one I’ve had since I was really little.I don’t know if its “weird” per say but it freaks me out whenever I have it as it feels like more of a memory. Its the same every single time,I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. I’m in the sea,bobbing up and down so the water keeps blocking my vision,its mute but a lot is happening around me. Its hard to explain but usually my dreams are in third person(?),with audio etc as if its a movie and I’m watching it. This one however,is as if I’m looking at everything unfold with my own eyes as I would on a day to day basis.

I do have a theory behind it though… I drowned on the titanic in a previous life *mic drop*.

6.Where in the world would you most like to travel to?

This is such a difficult question because I strongly believe I’m a little traveller at heart. I was housebound for years so I think that gave me an extra thirst and desire to get out there and see as much of the world as possible before I die. As I’ve got a lil mini me I’ll have to say Disneyland or word,one or the other! I’ve never been and I am the biggest Disney fan ever and I think experiencing it as a child would be so magical! I’d love to see Willows face as she meets all the princesses etc my Mum heart would literally explode.

7.What did you last watch on Netflix? (or the last thing you watched if you don’t have it)

The last thing I finished was Rick and Morty and I am currently watching Shameless (USA) and I am addicted. 

8.Favourite lipstick shade and brand?

Reign retro luxe matte lipkit by Make Up Revolution is my go to atm. 

9.The life motto you live by is…

I very recently found a youtuber called Ella Ringrose, who introduced me to three “quotes” to change your outlook and perspective on life. By changing the way you word things can change your mood and motivate you.

Instead of saying “I have to clean my room” you say “I get to clean my room” .

*I feel like this one is important as there are people out there who are unable to tidy their own rooms or go to work etc due to being wheelchair/bed bound and I’m sure they would love the independence we’re all so lucky to have.

Instead of saying “I hope I lose weight” you say “I know I will lose weight”.

Instead of saying “I should go to the gym” you say “I could go to the gym”

10. Who means the most to you?

Willow! (obvs) I didn’t actually know it was physically possible to love someone and care about someone so much until I fell pregnant. Since the two lines on my test,my whole world and strength has been her.

11. Sum up your life in one word.

Disastrous. 

I tag:

• Becca
• Soph
• Sophie
• Courts
• Louise
• Ashley
• Alice
• Clo 
• Laura

Sorry if you’ve already done it!! I can’t think of anyone else right now but if you’re reading this and haven’t done it..then I tag you!

 

My Questions:

1. Who is someone who changed your life in positive way and how?
2. What is your favourite disney movie and why?
3. What is the first childhood memory that pops into your head?
4. If you had £1,000,000 what would you do with it?
5. Where do you see yourself in five years time?
6. Do appearances play some importance to you?
7. What was the last text message you received?
8. Where would you like to visit the most in the world?
9. What is the best holiday you have ever been on and why?
10. Are you missing anyone right now?
11. What are your top 3 baby girl and top 3 baby boy names?

I Hated My Daughters Name

This post is inspired by the blogger Autumns Mummy you can read her post here.

When I was pregnant,I spent hours and hours searching for the perfect name to give our baby. Ever since I was little,I had my heart set on naming my children really unique and weird names like Siren,and still to this day,I see nothing wrong with that name.Levi disagreed with every single one of one. He turned around to me one day,out of the blue and suggested the name Willow Rose.

At first,I really didn’t like it. It was a ‘hmm maybe but we will find something better’. However, we didn’t and by the time our 20 week scan came around,the name just stuck. I tried so hard to get used to it and like it but I never imagined my daughter being called that? I always assumed she’d be named after a Disney princess or something.

Levi and I broke up in June,when I was 7 months pregnant. It was an absolutely horrible break up and all round horrible experience.  He went from being my loving,caring boyfriend to an unrecognisable monster. I felt like I didn’t know him anymore. We are both equally to blame for the break up but he definitely could’ve handled thing a lot better. Within two days,he was off with other girls and it absolutely broke my heart.

He still came to most,if not all,my appointments. We would get along like a normal,happy expecting couple..basically acting like we had never even broke up. Then he’d go home and treat me like complete and utter shit again. This caused major anxiety. I already suffered with anxiety and panic attacks but the level this was at,was a whole new ballgame.  Its easy for people to say ‘you should’ve put a stop to it’ but ask anyone he’s been with and he has a way with words etc,can twist anyone round his finger..and honestly,since the day I met him I was always weak for him.

Willow stopped growing,she had actually stopped growing at about 25 weeks but as we got closer to my due date her weight started going down drastically. There was talk of inducing me as soon as possible and all sorts of crazy shit. It was awful. She did start slowly gaining weight,but I was monitored weekly with scans etc to ensure she was okay.My anxiety was so out of control that I was hospitalised several times from June to August. I was diagnosed with prenatal depression,given medication and sent to a therapist.I was inconsistent with medication because pregnancy brain and I only managed two therapy session before the big day came.

Long story short,I had an extremely distressing birth. I really don’t want to go into the ins and outs of it but it was horrible. Levi and my Mum have told me in the past,there were several times they thought I was going to die from blood loss as I kept passing out etc.I say all the time I don’t remember it very well,but I do,I just choose to block it out. Its very hazy but I remember it more than enough.

I remember perfectly 5:23pm when she was born,let out a little whimper and she was born.(You can read more about that here.) but the aftermath was just as  horrific as the birth itself. If anything,I found the aftermath worse. I kept asking when she would be here and they had to keep showing me her and telling me she was born already.

The days following her birth,I was in so much pain,I could barely move without wincing. I couldn’t do anything and I spent this time trying not to think about the birth.

I did get used to her name,up until a day after my birthday. We had registered her name on my birthday btw so there was no going back. I was still a nervous wreck,having become a new Mum,the pregnancy and the birth. Levi and I had been back together about a week and I received a message from a girl. I don’t want to go into details again but I’m sure everyone can guess what had gone on.

I can’t really be mad at him, for having a girlfriend when we was broken up but the stuff that came out made me sick to my stomach. Whilst I was having an absolutely horrible time,giving birth to our daughter and screaming his name,embarrassingly begging for him not to leave me. He was texting her. It doesn’t piss me off anymore,however,I still want to punch him for allowing this random girl to know information about my birth when my closest relatives didn’t even know I had gone into labour.

As far as I’m concerned,childbirth is a family matter.Its between loved ones and its supposed to  a special,cherished and intimate time. I waited until I was home,to post anything because I wanted to have my time with her first. He had our daughter all over snapchat within minutes,again,before any of my family knew she was even born.

Even though we are  back together now and the past is in the past. I don’t think I will ever forgive him for the immature,irresponsible and hurtful actions and choices he made during and after my pregnancy.

I started to dislike my daughters name again. I felt like I hadn’t bonded with her. I felt like he was trying to replace me as her mother. I was distraught. Everyone would compliment her name and how beautiful she was and I just felt like I didn’t care. I felt like I no longer wanted her and felt like I no longer wanted to be a Mum.

I forgave him soon enough though and we was together at Halloween,Christmas..all of Willow’s firsts..fast forward to what I know now. A girl he was seeing behind my back. Choosing her over me. Him introducing her to my daughter after they’d been together for five minutes,whilst I was still struggling to get a mothers intuition. Skip the stay on a MH Unit (which is a whole other blogpost) I am finally,finally getting somewhere.

Myself and Willow are more important. My mental health,my bond with my daughter,working on my future,just my daughter and myself are my main priority. I can’t say what the outcome is yet as I am still recovering and am on two new types of medication,two different types of therapy and still struggle to get out of bed some days.

All I know for sure right now,is that I have the most amazing support from all my family,friends,people from twitter and my blog. I can’t thank everyone enough for every piece of advice,guidance and love you’ve given me the last few months. I also know, my beautiful little baby girl,is a Willow Rose.That name was meant to be for her. It just fits perfectly like Cinderella’s glass slipper.

Update: Levi and I have since broke up again for good. He has a very negative impact on my mental health and I am still struggling with PND. Willow is 13 months old as I write this,I have good days and bad days but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

 

Willow’s Five Month Update

I’ve actually never done one of these before but I decided it would be a good way to keep up with all her progress and all the little things she starts to do. I’m obsessed with documenting every little thing she does,which you’ll probably notice if you follow me on twitter.

Recently,my little Princess has been staying up during the day with only one or two little power naps. Its hard to keep her occupied with something as she is so young but most of the time we just talk AKA make noises at each other. It mainly just me copying every little noise she makes,which she finds hilarious.

Another thing she’s been finding amusing recently,is touching my face. For whatever reason cupping my face is really funny. The first time she did,she had actually woke up from a sleep because I was crying and she put her hand on my face and went back to sleep. I took that as her comforting me but it was probably her way of telling me to shut up!

Last week,she learnt how to do “mouth/tongue farts” thanks to her Auntie Em and its now all she does. You literally can’t have a single conversation without her doing that at least four times in a row,she finds it so funny and shows it to everyone she meets. Including the Nurse who did her injections.

She had her injection on Tuesday 2oth, I was so nervous but I think thats just a Mum thing. It makes my heart break when she cries in pain. However,she cried for about 10 seconds before laughing at the Nurse! She then “talked” none stop,blew raspberries and did her new favourite trick of “tongue farts”.

I have no idea what its actually called,but basically she sticks her tongue out and makes fart noises.

She recognises her bottle and when she sees it,she will open her mouth ready for it. She rarely cries but she”s always been like that. She’s always smiling and laughing but she I don’t think she has  ever cried more than 3 or 4 times in a day and those are on bad days.

She’s desperately trying to sit up and is always pushing her head forward when in her bouncer!! She can lay on her tummy for absolutely ages and hold her head up to look around. When on her tummy she can turn onto her side then onto her  back but she kind of throws herself so we make sure there is something super soft for her to land on or we put our hand there to catch her with.When on her back she tries to roll over and has managed to once already!

I am convinced she recognises her name now as whenever someone says Willow she’ll either blow raspberries and look away as to say ” Piss off,I aint talking to you.” or she will look in your direction and smile like a little goon.

She’s honestly such a happy little baby its insane but when she’s grouchy we know about it!

We let her watch TV sometimes when we’re doing house chores and she will pay attention to The Lion Guard,Sofia the First and Doc McStuffins and talk to the TV as if they’re talking to her,its one of the cutest things. Anything else won’t keep her attention for long and she will start to cry.

She is extremely protective and fond of her giraffe toy,if you take it off her she will pout and start to tear up. She’s never actually cried for it as we always give it her back because her pout makes my heart melt and makes me feel bad.

At her last weigh in,she weighed a whooping 11lbs 14oz!! We won’t be seeing the health visitor now until the New Year and she will be piling it on as she’s started to drink about 5oz-6oz per feed.

My little baby is no longer. She’s almost double the size she was when she was first born!

Willow is also teething,she bites her hand constantly and if she can she will bite hard on your hand. She refuses to use teethers,so I guess they just don’t do it for her.

I recently recorded her on my phone and played it back to her,she laughed and talked back to herself! She thought she made a little thing and it was the cutest thing in the world.

On Christmas Day,she started rolling over! I was lucky enough to be there for the first attempts til she actually rolled and yes,I cried! It was the best Christmas gift I could’ve ever received.

(She turned 5 months on Thursday 28th December,so its just a summary of everything so far that I can think of)