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Names I Love But Won’t Be Using

I’ve seen a lot of people doing this recently on YouTube and although I’m not pregnant,I thought it would be fun to do. Growing up I’ve always had a list of names I love and wanted for my hundreds of future babies,however,now I’m older the sad reality that I’ll probably have about three instead has kicked in. Also,naming the children is a joint decision and not just mine-which as you can imagine,shocked me especially when we ended up going for Levi’s name choice for our daughter?? like huh? I carried her for 9 months and I didn’t get to chose her name? Hmpfh.

(I am kidding btw I love her name and we wouldn’t have gone for it if I didn’t like it!)

Here are names I love love love love and love but we won’t be using for our future kiddies! Don’t hold me to it though as you never know in a few years what name will stick! I haven’t included any names we might definitely be using as I want to keep them for myself and I don’t want them to be stolen by friends lol.

Girls: 

Troian- I love this name. I think it is so damn pretty and unusual,I’ve never come across anyone called this in my life. I know of Troian Bellisario but never got into PLL but I do adore this name. We won’t be using this though as I’m too scared to suggest it to Levi and having his roast me for it.

Elara- Theres no particular reason I wouldn’t use this other than there are names I much prefer to this,I do think its really cute and unusual though.

Lennon- I love this name for a girl,I think its adorable,however, I don’t see Levi ever agreeing nor would I want Willow to be the only W.

Amelie/Amalie- This name is one of my favourites but I think it is too similar to the name Amelia and we have an Amelia in our family.

Amelia- Again, I love this name but we have an Amelia in our family already and I feel like its become very common and popular now.

Mia- I love this name but Levi has an ex called Mia. I will be honest and say it is still very high up in our list and his ex hasn’t completely put us off,its just more the reaction we would receive from people who know of his ex like what is friends would say etc-if that makes any sense?

Fifi– I think this name is so damn cute but all I can think of is Fifi and the flowertops and the song just plays repeatedly in my head and drives me to insanity.

Aurora- I freakin love this name. Obviously Levi has to hate it. Any Disney Princess names I end up absolutely adoring and how cute would Rory be as a nickname?? Just yes!

Ariel- The Little Mermaid is my favourite Disney film ever so it was obvious to me I would end up naming my future daughter Ariel. Not on Levi’s watch,he hates any Disney Princess names etc and wants them to be super unique so I might just take one of her sisters names and he won’t even notice *smirks*.

Pippa- I love this name but then Willow decided Peppa Pig was her favourite TV show and I think they’re very similar. I loved the name Pippi as a nickname too like Pippi Longstocking-I thought that would’ve been adorable!

Piper- I love this name so much but Levi doesn’t and it just reminds us of Piper Chapman from OITNB and she annoys the f*** out of me.

Summer- I love this name but my cousin is called Somer (pronounced the same).

Nova- Someone I know has a dog called this.

Nora- Levi hates it.

Mimi- It reminds me of someone who irritates me. Its so annoying when a nice name gets ruined by an absolute ass of a person.

Violet- Because Willow is Willow Rose which is Tree Flower, we thought we would name our next child Violet *insert a tree middle name* so they were Flower Tree but we soon grew out of that idea..I thought it was cute for awhile and they would fit nice together.

Polly– Reminds me of Parrots and I have a cat called Poppy so they’re very similar.

Maggie- I love this name. I love every famous person I can think of associated with this name. Maggie Smith,Maggie Simpson and Maggie Lindemann yaaas but Levi said it reminds him of old people? but then again,using that logic would mean that she would suit that name as an elderly woman but whatever.

Georgia- I have a brother called George.

Madison- I have a cousin called Madison.

Isla- Levi doesn’t like it because he always pronounces it as Is-la instead of I-la.

Sailor- Levi just laughed when I suggested this one.

Siren- Levi laughed when I suggested this one too.

Elsie- Reminds me of Elsa and I hate Frozen with a passion. I didn’t mind it until my brothers watched it on repeat,every single day, none stop- for about 6 months.

Ella- Levi has a cousin with this name who is just a massive *insert choice of word* and although no one speaks to her anymore,I wouldn’t want to use this name because of the association it has for his family and the drama etc.

Aria- LOVE. Levi hates. Again,never got into PLL but this name has always stood out to me and one of my simself’s many daughters (on Sim)actually has this name. I just love short names that sound princessy and girly but I also love boys names for girls too…hmm…idk.

Kenny- My Grandad is called Ken(neth) and we’re really close. I don’t think I could ever suggest this name to Levi though because he would hate it and frankly I’d be very offended if he shit on it.

Bea/Bee- I think this name is adorable for a girl like calling her ‘my little Bee’ ugh yes but no from Levi. He’s like Simon Cowell always saying bloody no.

Millie- My Aunt rudely took this name as well as Summer(Somer) and Madison for her damn dog. Just rude tbfh.

Skylar- You guessed it. Levi said no.

Zuri- I like that it begins with Z. I don’t think I ever suggested this one to Levi but I just know it doesn’t float his boat and its not my personal absolute favourite.

Zoe- My dog is called Zoe. I hate my dog.

Boys:

This list is significantly shorter,I find boys names so hard to think of and I just low-key find them a bit boring to be perfectly honest.

Jackson- “Got stolen” by my friend Saph who’s due in August,she’s having a Jaxson and Levi doesn’t like the name-shock horror.

Ashton- My sister always used to say Aston Merrygold (From JLS) in a really annoying voice because she thought it was funny. It wasn’t.

Liam- I’ve only ever come across people with this name whom I hate and it kinda ruined the name for me. Shoutout to Liam from Tracy Beaker Returns aka the first love of my life though.

Luke- Again,only know people with this name who ruined it for me so bye bye.

Ezra- I swear this name didn’t come from PLL. I didn’t know for the longest time but its clear the PLL writers have good naming tastes. Levi won’t use this one as his best friend wants a son named Enzo and they’re too similar.

Jamie- This is such a cute guys name but I have an ex with this name so moving on.

James- This is Levi’s middle name. I thought it would be kinda cute to have Levi and our son share a name but he doesn’t agree!

Hunter- Levi..hates…it…

Louis- Levi also hates it..and its very close to one of my exes names so no thank you.

Bradley- I love this name and love how it can be shortened to Brad but its just meh now.

Storm- Levi said no.

Ryder- Levi laughed at me and said absolutely not.

Tyger- Reminds me of Tyger-Drew Honey and all I can think of now is that weird sex documentary he did.

There’s probably a million names I’ve left off and I could do a few hundred of these blogposts but these are the names that came to mind first. We are set on a boys name for our future son (if we have one) so I aint too worried there unless I end up with two sons..oh..

As for girls we’re stumped but we ain’t in any rush or panic and we won’t be having anymore for at least 5 years as we want to be married and in our own place etc first and we’re just enjoying each day with Willow for now!

Let me know what names you like both from the list and off your own so I can pinch some ideas for Sims characters lmao.

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Dear Emma,

Thank you.

We had been to the same highschool but we didn’t know eachother back then. We first met after you found out we were going to be attending the same college and after speaking on Facebook for a few weeks, you invited me to go to a party with you. WE clicked instantly and it was like I had known you my whole life. Thank you for being one of the people to kick me up the ass and get me leaving the house again.

You were always so honest with your opinions on the guys I was dating and made it very clear you didn’t approve of my choices. I will never forget the rants I’d receive whenever I took a dickhead back after promising I wouldn’t.

I love how we never said ‘hi,how are you?’ you’d just jump right in with a rant or some gossip or straight up tell me how you were doing and vice versa. I miss our conversations so much. I miss being able to pop up at any hour,mainly during the night and getting one of your huge motivational paragraphs.

I miss you so much.

You will never understand how grateful I am that you were apart of my life. You were there when nobody else was. When I was in the mental health unit you were the only friend who didn’t ditch me and reminded me why I was here.

You will never know how grateful I am that you were in Willows. I remember how excited you were when we found out I was pregnant and how motivated you were to meet her.

I will never forget how excited you were when I asked you to be her godmother. There was nobody else I trusted or wanted. When I knew we were going to christen her I knew instantly it would be you. You were someone I knew I could rely on to take care of my baby and I know you will look out for her from heaven. She will always know who you are, your ‘lil squishy’.

When I had nothing for Willow,you provided her with everything. I will never forget when you told us you’d found a cot for us,we were so desperate and Auntie Emma came through! I will never forget you walking in our house with your Mum with a walker and 3 or 4 massive bags of clothes,blankets and all sorts of random baby shit. Your poor Mum was struggling to carry them all out of the car they were that big.

I don’t think I could’ve planned Willows first birthday without your input and I know you will be there in spirit.

I will think of you whenever Ed Sheeran plays,which is an awful lot and it makes me so happy that you got to meet him.

I promise to keep every single promise I made to you and I will always look for you in the night sky. I can’t wait to catch up with you when my time is up and talk about all our crazy adventures.

Thank you so much for being the best second Mummy to our girl. We love you so fucking much and I miss you more and more every single day.

I love you,sleep tight x

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Emma Louise Cosgrove 17th June 1998- 24th June 2017. Forever 19.

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Willow’s Tenth Month Update

This month has been incredibly special but also devastating. I’ll start with the positives first though I think.

Willow has finally learnt how to clap. I feel as though most babies do this much earlier but Willow was never interested beforehand.

She has also started to take steps! Which is absolutely crazy and I hate it so much because I just want her to be little forever but I am so incredibly proud of her.

She loves Peppa Pig more than anything and anyone. Her excitement when Peppa comes on TV or we’re reading her Peppa Pig storybook is adorable and I savour every single moment.

If she’s not sleeping then she’s eating. She loves food which is great but she is getting so big!! My tiny 6lbs 4oz baby is more than double that now!!

She’s been sleeping in her cot! It was more me than her,I’d let her sleep in her cot until I missed her and then she would be back in my arms but still a good milestone to mention.

Her two top teeth are coming through which has been a bit of a nightmare. She’s forever biting and crying in pain and it hurts my heart.

We’ve had to get rid of her car walker/bouncer/swing in one that her Aunt Emma got her a few months ago as she has now started to climb on it when in her seat.

She also had a cute push-a-long lion thingy that she sat on,she had it for five minutes before we had to put it away as all she wants to do is climb!

She’s mastered climbing onto the sofa..I can’t.

She still fits in 3-6 and 6-9 mainly even tho..her birthday..is exactly ONE MONTH AWAY. I’m so emotional! I cannot believe she is one soon. I can’t deal. My heart can’t handle it.

Annoyingly,she has learnt how to strip and take her onesies off. How? I have no idea. She is quite strong for her age though.

Towards the end of the month,she’s started sleeping through the night in her cot without a bottle!! Waking at 7am!

She is such a happy baby and I couldn’t be more proud of how big she’s getting. Every little milestone makes my heart burst with pride.

Sadly,this month she had experienced her first loss,obviously she’s too young to understand but I promise she will never forget. For those who don’t know my best friend Emma Cosgrove gained her wings on the 24th June. She was Willow’s second Mummy and my heart is completely broken.

My focus has been getting little things to help Willow remember and know who Emma is as she is growing up. I’ve got her a canvas of one of my most favourite photos of newborn Willow cripping Em’s finger printed and a necklace with an angel wing and a heart with the letter E. Its so important to me that Willow always remembers who Emma is,she was her godmother and now she is her guardian angel.

Sorry if this one has been shorter than others,in all honesty, I haven’t the motivation to write every thing shes been up to this month as my heart is too broken but I knew I wanted to be consistent with the monthly updates. Hope you understand x

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All About My First Tattoo

I don’t know if ya’ll heard on my twitter yet but I got a tattoo!! I am honestly so so so happy with it!

It was total last minute, I got in my Dads car and he turned around and said “Let’s go get you a tattoo then.” So random and so unexpected but I am so thankful!


Naturally, I was extremely nervous. I had a bit of time to think before the tattoo guy came over, I’ve wanted tattoos since I was 13 so I wasn’t short on ideas. I decided on going for something small for my first one as I wasn’t sure how I was going to deal with the pain. I also knew I wanted my first tattoo to be dedicated to Willow,after all she is the best thing that ever happened to me and I love her to absolute death.


(Excuse the side ways photo)

I went for classic Roman Numerals with her birthdate as I didn’t want anything over the top or crazy. I just wanted something simplistic that I could hide.



I got it on my arm and I really thought it was going to hurt. Plot twist- it didn’t. I didn’t even feel it,apart from when he was tattooing my boney wrist-that just felt like a sharp scratch.

I thought I’d be a mess. When I got my ear lobes pierced I cried and told the guy I was fine with just the one. He pierced the second one and I cried for 3 hours straight. With my tragus and helix I had panic attacks before hand and a shit tonne of freeze spray. I believe we used about 3 bottles on my ears alone!!

I don’t know if it’s my anxiety or if I’m a massive wuss but I just build it up in my mind so much but with this tattoo I really wasn’t bothered. I found the tattooing process really relaxing actually!


I have since had a bit of an accident with it, I banged it pretty forcefully and cut it open. Luckily,not too much damage was done and once it’s healed I can get the little damage tattooed over. It’s only obvious to me what’s wrong with it now.

The only thing that annoys me about it since getting it,is that depending on the angle of my arm it can look wonky and it just really annoys me! It’s straight to other people but because I can’t look at it straight on and have to bend my arm it looks wonky to me-if that makes any sense?

Obviously all my pictures are mirrored so in photos it’s the wrong way round! Just incase you didn’t know !!

I’d honestly give this a 0/5 on the pain scale! It didn’t bother me at all! Roll on the next tattoo!!

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Willow’s Ninth Month Update

This month Willow has been having a lot of firsts.She played in sand and the paddling for the first time and she had the best time ever,she was so excited!

She’s picked up the speed with her crawling and she’s started standing up on her own two feet with no support.

She has also started doing little dances and its the darn cutest thing I ever did see.

Being the little cheeky monkey she is she is always in everything and opening the drawers.

Her new favourite toy is a laalaa from the teletubbies soft toy,it talks and frankly its really creepy. Her favourite game is knocking down tower blocks and laughing at me in the process.

She’s finally started feeding herself her bottles! She would rather not though,of course.

Apparently she has forgotten the word ‘Mama’ since the last update and she’s always saying ‘Dada’ so alrighty then(!)

But my Einstein says so many words now,its actually hard to keep up! Some of them are hi,hiya,bye,yeah,no,Dada,Mama,Emma, Drink, DinDin and ‘whats that?’

When asked if she has done a poo,she will lie and say no then laugh as she crawls at super speed to hide behind the sofa.

She has started pointing at everyone and everything,its absolutely adorable and she loses it and starts laughing like crazy when you point back at her.

Food wise,she really really loves pasta! Her wee italian side is showing (Her Dad,not me unfortunately)

Speaking of her italian side, I AM SO JEALOUS OF HOW WELL SHE TANS. WHAT THE HECK?!

A few days ago,she kept going behind the sofa, I eventually moved it to see what was soooo interesting that she had to keep going there. Turns out-she had a secret stash of her snack foods from earlier that day and kept going back when she wanted them..

If you read the Eighth Month Update, you’ll know she kept passing out. The past month,she’s only passed out twice as opposed to the passing out daily as she was doing back then! As for the dimple at the bottom of her spine,we still haven’t heard back with a hospital appointment.

Our health visitor finally weighed her and she weighs 16lb 3oz! She also mentioned that Willow is really advanced for her age and I feel like the proudest Mama on earth.

She’s also being booked in for an eye test as she has a bit of a lazy eye and a hearing test as routine due to my own hearing loss!

Its so mad how babies have personalities from the first day and as a parent you can just tell instantly what their likes and dislikes are. Willow has never been much of a cryer and that still stands to this day. She will accidentally smack herself in the face and not give a shit,then I’ll be sat there trying to hold back tears.

I would also like to mention that I do keep some stuff to myself in terms of what she does as I don’t feel like sharing every little accomplishment and achievement but I do tweet daily about her and shes always on my snapchat doing cute stuff!

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Donating My Eggs At 19?

Hi guys,

That is so weird. I literally never say hi, I just jump right in with the post usually but this post felt like it needed a little introduction.

On June 2nd 2017, I saw an advert on Facebook about Egg Donors. I don’t know why but I felt drawn and just needed to click on it. I read the comments filled with peoples stories of infertility and I was heartbroken. Some of these stories didn’t have happy endings but others said egg donations enabled them to become parents.

I remembered the day the two lines showed up on my pregnancy test,that instant need to protect Willow set in. The first time I saw her on the scan and the disbelief that my own tiny human baby was growing inside me. Finally,the day she was born and placed in my arms for the first time,that instant connection,overwhelming love and forever bond.

I thought about that and how amazing it is to become a parent. I then imagined what it would be like to not be able to because of the menopause or infertility.

I thought about my Mum and the struggle she went through to get pregnant with me. I might not have been there but my parents had been together from 17, she was trying for years after they wed and didn’t conceive me until she was 28 thanks to a fertility drug. (She has four of us now!)

Unfortunately,fertility drugs and IVF don’t work for everyone and an egg or sperm donor is another way to have that forever love.

I’ve always said if a family member or a friend needed a surrogate then I’d do it in an absolute heartbeat. No hesitation. Hell, I’d do it for an absolute stranger if the timing was right.

Why should donating eggs be any different to that? I still get to help people do the greatest role of all..minus the pregnancy.

I read the websites FAQ and found out the answers to all my questions. It was absolutely something I needed and wanted to do. I had this idea that if I could help someone,whether it was one family or ten (ten families is the limit each donor has)then I was going to bloody do it. Nothing was going to stop me from helping other families grow.

This in no way changes any future plans I have to grow my own family and give Willow siblings some day. I still intend on having 3 or more of my own but whilst I’m not expanding my brood..I can help others start and complete theres and I think theres something extremely beautiful about that.

As for people who think I’ll have children all up and down the world by doing this..you’re extremely wrong. I personally believe to be a parent, you have to do the raising and nurturing. You have to be there for milestones and birthdays,the falls and the fallouts. I would just be the donor helping these people become Mum’s and Dad’s.

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Screenshot from manchesterdonors.com

I ended up applying after receiving the backing of my Mum and boyfriend. I’m currently waiting to hear back with my first appointment! Fingers crossed everything goes well and I can continue with this incredible journey.

 

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Willow’s Eighth Month Update

I can’t believe shes 9 months already. Its killing me that in 3 months (more or less) she’s going to be ONE.

Anyways little madam has two little teeth,she likes biting everything and everyone with and laughing her head off.

We’ve also started brushing he lil peggys with her own little pink toothbrush-she hates it and pulls a disgusted face. I think it must be the texture?

Trying to stand on her own two feet without holding onto anything and then getting overly giddy when she does and falling over.

She now likes to sing ‘la la la’ whenever someone else is singing a song-its so cute.

She sits on the floor dancing to her ‘If you’re happy and you know it’  music sing a long book and its the cutest thing ever.

Photo on 11-05-2017 at 14.08

The only word she ever says nowadays seems to be ‘Mama’ she can also say “Dada” and “Drink?”-well something close to that,more like “Drin Drin”.

She also does high fives!! Now we need to work on blowing kisses.

Peek-A-Boo still remains her favourite game.

Photo on 09-05-2017 at 14.06 #2

She has also decided that under a very tiny side table is her new den. She likes to hide under there and come up with mischievous monkey plans.

Recently,shes been quite poorly which means over the past few days shes just been napping all the time. She’s had a horrible temperature and lots of calpol.

Unrelated to that,shes also been having ‘absences’ where she goes limp/floppy and stares into space or she just passes out. Its horrible and very scary. However,we’ve been told its normal and some babies do this when crying but we won’t know for definite if its that until our upcoming Doctors appointment.

Photo on 03-05-2017 at 14.55 #3

We took her to the farm for the first time and she didn’t give a single flying duck about any of the animals. She was just looking around in utter disgust-probably at the smell of poop,such a princess. The one animal she was somewhat interested in was all the budgies and parrots they had,she kept waving and trying to get to them.

She’s currently obsessed with empty lucozade bottles..she just likes playing with them. I don’t even bother questioning her anymore.

She has a dolly my Grandma got her for Easter,which she carries around with her like her own little baby and oh my god its adorable. She also gets really jealous when I cuddle it and call it ‘my baby’,she’ll throw dolly on the floor and fake cry til I pick her up and cuddle her instead.

Photo on 03-05-2017 at 16.06

She takes after me and loves her fruits and veggies but she really really really doesn’t like chocolate pudding. I’m not being funny but as a parent you try the foods you’re giving your child to check its not to hot etc and the chocolate pudding is SO GOOD. Its the kind of thing I’d eat in primary school? Strange baby.

When Willow was smaller,her Daddy would stroke her hair as I fed her bottle to help her fall asleep. Miss Independent strokes her own hair when her Daddy isn’t there now and its the cutest thing ever-that or she rips my hair out instead.

She started drinking water out of her beaker by herself but still cant take the weight off the milk bottle-or she is just lazy..really lazy.

They’re all the things I can think off at the top of my head! I really need to start making note as I go along rather than rushing and using my Mum brain(known for its bad memory) at the end of each month!

Photo on 03-05-2017 at 14.52 #5

Hope you all enjoy the low quality Macbook photobooth photos! I’ve not got a phone or camera at the moment so this has had to make do.She still looks hella cute tho.

Update: Since this post,Willow has been to the Doctors and we’ve been told to “keep an eye on it”. She also has a deep dimple at the bottom of her spine thats been there since birth and she’s been referred to a specialist about it as they want to check theres definitely skin at the bottom of it.(Which there is because when she was a newborn the hole was a lot bigger and not as deep! Just a safety precaution really so no worries there.)